I don't know about you, but I love to bake. There's something fulfilling about taking a bunch of random ingredients and combining them to make something that draws the pleasant company of others and sustains our existence joyfully.
The thing about baking, is that sometimes you underestimate the unique powers of those ingredients, and the result is tasteless and/or hard. Baking soda, for instance, while practically inedible in its independent form, brings an important element to the table.
Baking soda is pure sodium bicarbonate. When baking soda is combined with moisture and an acidic ingredient (such as buttermilk), the resulting chemical reaction produces bubbles of carbon dioxide that, when heated, expand, causing baked goods to rise. So as you can imagine, too much of it is going to lift the dough so high that it eventually caves in on itself and overcooks inside. Yum.
What I'm getting to in my round-about way is that often times in life, we ignore the influences of the people and situations that we experience as contributing factors to who we want to be and who we laxly allow ourselves to be without noticing.
However, just like with baking, we have the capability to measure the amount of time, energy and concentration we put into ourselves and others. As we enter into the recognition of our limited existence, we start to consider what we are trying to create, and who we are letting co-write our recipes.
"Bob at work keeps undermining me in front of the interns. It's really pissing me off."
Well big surprise, Dilbert, some people suck sometimes. Its time to stop being surprised by it. What we have to do is understand that letting it bother us is what sucks. Letting it contribute as an ingredient we need very little of in our lives, negativity, sucks. Instead you can appreciate that the interns will eventually recognize your capabilities and respect you because they want to, and part of that respect will come from seeing you not give a shit if Bob has an inferiority complex and needs to make sure his voice is heard always.
Not to say that we don't need negativity occasionally, we all have to vent sometimes. Understand though, that negativity is like baking soda. We can let it raise us up, but too much and we're eventually just going to collapse.
Right about now you might be thinking to yourself: "EASIER SAID THAN DONE, ASSHOLE!"
There now, don't you feel better :) Even if I was an asshole, it wouldn't be worthwhile to let it bother you, because when you left my presence...I'd still be an asshole.
Finding that inner peace that allows you to consider your options when faced with a potentially upsetting situation, will hopefully lead you down a path where the worst thing you feel is pity for the person so tired of their own lives that they're actually trying to steal some of your happiness. That never looks good on a person, desperation.
Side note: don't be that person.
This can be hard when applying it to our relationships with friends and family, but what it comes down to is this: evaluate the common goal for your friendship/romance. Do you both want to lift each other up and see one another thrive? If the answer's no, it's time to let 'em go. If the answer is yes, then do your part to make that happen, if they can't, at least you'll know you tried.
Live strong and hold space for the people you haven't met yet that will fill those voids that others leave.
